The authoritative parenting style was first defined by developmental psychologist Diane Baumrind, who proposed a new system for classifying parents. Her idea was to focus on the way parents attempted to control their kids (Baumrind 1966). (View Highlight) #✂️

She recognized three major approaches to parental control:
• Permissive parents are warm and responsive, but reluctant to impose rules or standards. They prefer to let their kids regulate themselves.
• Authoritarian parents show less warmth and sensitivity, and insist on blind obedience. They attempt to enforce compliance through punishments, threats, and psychological control.
• Authoritative parents are warm and responsive, like permissive parents. But where permissive parents shrink away from enforcing standards, authoritative parents embrace it. They expect maturity and cooperation…as much as is appropriate for a child’s developmental level. And they try to guide behavior by reasoning with their kids. (View Highlight) #✂️

In subsequent studies, researchers also recognized a fourth style, sometimes called “neglectful parenting,” where parents lack warmth and fail to enforce standards (Maccoby and Martin 1983). (View Highlight) #✂️

The authoritative parenting style is an approach to child-rearing that combines warmth, sensitivity, and the setting of limits. Parents use positive reinforcement and reasoning to guide children. They avoid resorting to threats or punishments. (View Highlight) #✂️

Authoritative parents communicate lots of warmth to their kids. They avoid using harsh or arbitrary punishments. They are less likely to shame their kids, or attempt to control kids by withdrawing love. And when their children make mistakes or misbehave, they talk with them about it. They listen to their children’s concerns, and take them into account. They help kids figure out what went wrong, and explain the consequences of good and bad behavior (View Highlight) #✂️

Authoritative parents tend to agree with statements like these:
• I take my child’s wishes and feelings into consideration before I ask her to do something
• I encourage my child to talk about his feelings
• I try to help when my child is scared or upset
• I provide my child with reasons for the expectations I have for her
• I respect my child’s opinion and encourage him or her to express them…even if they are different from my own (View Highlight) #✂️

What, then, did authoritative parents have in common across all four countries?
They shared a similar approach to discipline. When their children misbehaved, they talked with them, and explained the reasons for the rules (Robinson et al 1997). Let’s take a closer look. (View Highlight) #✂️

Inductive discipline focuses on teaching kids to think — constructively and non-selfishly — about how their behavior affects others. The idea is that instead of trying to enforce good behavior through threats and punishments, you provide kids with the internal tools to regulate themselves. Here are the key components.

1. Shape your child’s behavior through reasoning. For a very young child, this might mean simply explaining why she can’t touch something*. That’s not for you! It’s too hot! It could burn you!* But for older kids, it means talking with them — not “at” them — about the reasons for our policies and rules.
2. Be your child’s emotion coach. What should your child do when he feels angry? Or sad? Or scared? Inductive discipline depends on your child’s ability to cope with strong emotions, so an important facet of inductive discipline is being a good “emotion coach.” Read tips about that here.
3. Emphasize empathy and concern for others. The goal of inductive discipline is to nurture a child’s intrinsic motivation to cooperate and behave with kindness (Xiao et al 2018; Xiao 2016). And studies show that even very young children feel empathy, and want to be helpful. So we can help kids develop moral reasoning skills by talking with them about how our behavior impacts others. For more information, see these tips for fostering empathy in children. (View Highlight) #✂️

The authoritative parenting style was first defined by developmental psychologist Diane Baumrind, who proposed a new system for classifying parents. Her idea was to focus on the way parents attempted to control their kids (Baumrind 1966). (View Highlight) #✂️

She recognized three major approaches to parental control:
• Permissive parents are warm and responsive, but reluctant to impose rules or standards. They prefer to let their kids regulate themselves.
• Authoritarian parents show less warmth and sensitivity, and insist on blind obedience. They attempt to enforce compliance through punishments, threats, and psychological control.
• Authoritative parents are warm and responsive, like permissive parents. But where permissive parents shrink away from enforcing standards, authoritative parents embrace it. They expect maturity and cooperation…as much as is appropriate for a child’s developmental level. And they try to guide behavior by reasoning with their kids. (View Highlight) #✂️

In subsequent studies, researchers also recognized a fourth style, sometimes called “neglectful parenting,” where parents lack warmth and fail to enforce standards (Maccoby and Martin 1983). (View Highlight) #✂️

The authoritative parenting style is an approach to child-rearing that combines warmth, sensitivity, and the setting of limits. Parents use positive reinforcement and reasoning to guide children. They avoid resorting to threats or punishments. (View Highlight) #✂️

Authoritative parents communicate lots of warmth to their kids. They avoid using harsh or arbitrary punishments. They are less likely to shame their kids, or attempt to control kids by withdrawing love. And when their children make mistakes or misbehave, they talk with them about it. They listen to their children’s concerns, and take them into account. They help kids figure out what went wrong, and explain the consequences of good and bad behavior (View Highlight) #✂️

Authoritative parents tend to agree with statements like these:
• I take my child’s wishes and feelings into consideration before I ask her to do something
• I encourage my child to talk about his feelings
• I try to help when my child is scared or upset
• I provide my child with reasons for the expectations I have for her
• I respect my child’s opinion and encourage him or her to express them…even if they are different from my own (View Highlight) #✂️

What, then, did authoritative parents have in common across all four countries?
They shared a similar approach to discipline. When their children misbehaved, they talked with them, and explained the reasons for the rules (Robinson et al 1997). Let’s take a closer look. (View Highlight) #✂️

Inductive discipline focuses on teaching kids to think — constructively and non-selfishly — about how their behavior affects others. The idea is that instead of trying to enforce good behavior through threats and punishments, you provide kids with the internal tools to regulate themselves. Here are the key components.

1. Shape your child’s behavior through reasoning. For a very young child, this might mean simply explaining why she can’t touch something*. That’s not for you! It’s too hot! It could burn you!* But for older kids, it means talking with them — not “at” them — about the reasons for our policies and rules.
2. Be your child’s emotion coach. What should your child do when he feels angry? Or sad? Or scared? Inductive discipline depends on your child’s ability to cope with strong emotions, so an important facet of inductive discipline is being a good “emotion coach.” Read tips about that here.
3. Emphasize empathy and concern for others. The goal of inductive discipline is to nurture a child’s intrinsic motivation to cooperate and behave with kindness (Xiao et al 2018; Xiao 2016). And studies show that even very young children feel empathy, and want to be helpful. So we can help kids develop moral reasoning skills by talking with them about how our behavior impacts others. For more information, see these tips for fostering empathy in children. (View Highlight) #✂️