The “Power of Forgetfulness” has affected too many otherwise successful people. When you forget your “True Authentic Swing,” you can be drawn, inexorably, into an apathetic attitude that breeds cynicism—the tool of the lazy thinker. (205)

You already know everyone you need to know. (286)

You already know someone right now who knows the person who will help you achieve your goal or hire you or introduce you to the person you need to meet. (301)

Everyone has a “Who” network, a “community of friends” that’s been built up over many years with love and unconditional giving. These are friends who genuinely care about you and share your core values. This particular network of friends, if asked, will actually come to your aid. They want you to succeed. They want you to achieve your goals. And they love you just the way you are. (346)

The good news is “You Got ‘WHO’!” Everyone in your “Who” network has their own “Who” network and everyone in that “Who” network has their circle of “Who” friends and on and on it goes. It’s exponential! (411)

Every significant event or milestone in your life will always involve your “Who.” You don’t have to go out and start putting it together because it’s already present in your life. You just have to implement the 3 R’s—Remember, Reach Out, and Reconnect. (423)

“Bunkering” is when you try to sneak away and hide while hoping everything will just work out. You fool yourself into believing you can manage your crisis alone. (436)

It’s important to note that my friendship with Will wasn’t based on his position or power. It had never occurred to me that one day he might be the source of an important referral. Our friendship was based on mutual respect, interests and just plain “hitting it off.” That’s one of the important differences between the Power of “WHO!” and networking. (464)

“Favor” is simply what happens when someone you know is willing to help you accomplish things you normally couldn’t do for yourself. (470)

So, don’t ask just “Anybody” for help. The person you want to ask is a “Who” friend. “Who” friends are not just “Anybody,” they’re your special “Somebody.” • Somebody really does care about you and your dream and has the power and willingness to help you. • Somebody is reliable. They are willing to take the time and effort to mentor, guide, and assist you in every way they can. • Somebody knows you personally, likes you, and will make the time to help you. (490)

• You’re going to nurture and help your “Who” to achieve their dreams and goals • You won’t deprive them the joy of helping you. (502)

The first set of numbers (1–100) is about relationships. The second set (1–40) is about whatever it is you’re after. The scale of 1–100 and 1–40 is different for every person. Anywhere along the time line of your life the number of your “Who” or “What” could be radically different. But the “Who” part of the equation is by far the most important component. That’s because whatever you truly want in life will always involve relationships. “Who” is preeminent! (527)

Life gets really exciting when it begins to dawn on you that you have some “Who” willing to help. Most people rarely think of their friends as conduits to achieving their dreams and goals. But friends come pre-wired with a strong desire to help us. (557)

Each of us has been given key relationships all throughout our lives. I have broken your “Who” World into six spheres: (1) the “Inner Circle” (12–3–1), (2) “Who” Friends, (3) Allies, (4) Advocates, (5) Acquaintances, and (6) Fans. (576)

“WHO” FRIENDS This sphere is really your “Inner Circle” expanded. Each person here shares your core values. The only factors keeping them from being a part of your “Inner Circle” are proximity, opportunity, and time. Shared experiences take all three and “Inner Circle” friends like to do things together. (618)

Allies are people you associate with, connect with, or touch through your 12–3–1 and “Who” friends. From time to time, they will introduce you to their “Who” friends. (658)

When “Who” friends open up their world to you and invite you in, you have now been given access to a whole new group of quality people, each of whom have their own “Who” World. (660)

In the illustration of your “Who” World, I was one of Ilana’s allies. She wasn’t in my “Inner Circle” nor was she one of my “Who” friends. But she’s in Aly’s “Inner Circle.” (690)

ADVOCATES Can someone you don’t even know be instrumental in helping you with your dreams and goals? Yes! Absolutely! This has to be one of life’s most wonderful surprises. They’re called advocates. (696)

“A person who speaks or writes in support or defense of a person, cause, etc.” (699)

Your company’s good reputation might get you in the door. But it’s the personal impression you make that people remember. (719)

In the personal realm there are people who think you’re great. They know of you, have encountered you professionally or socially, have read something about you, or seen you perform publicly. But fans are one degree removed. Boundaries are necessary. (758)

This is not only true of those seeking a Dream Job. It also applies to those seeking to achieve any goal or fulfill any aspiration. Most people never get what they want for three simple reasons. 1. They don’t ask. No one can help if they don’t know what you want. 2. When they do ask, they ask the wrong people. For some reason, people are uncomfortable asking their “Who” for help. As a result, they’ll ask most anyone except their friends, who are the only ones with a motive to help. 3. When they do ask for help, they ask too vaguely. Even if I’m motivated to help a friend, I can’t do it when I don’t know what he or she wants. (797)

Let ‘What you want’ be an extension of ‘Who you are.’” (845)

Remember, whatever you’re doing—is also doing you. (849)

A “time-out” could keep you from getting stuck for several more years in a job that leads to another dead end. If you’re not willing to pay the price for a little solitude and intro-spection, you will be left dealing with only surface things. By Wilderness Journey, I’m not talking about camping in a tent. Nor am I talking about taking your family to Disney World in an RV with your four kids all under the age of ten. That’s called a vacation. A Wilderness Journey is something you do alone. (863)

The Wilderness Journey is a time to disengage. Minimize distractions—anything that keeps you connected to the busyness of your normal routine. (869)

Here are some important questions you will need to address during your Wilderness Journey: • “What” was it you always wanted to be growing up? (878)

• Do you have the competency, talent, or skill today to accomplish the dream? (882)

• Are you where you want to be? Where you want to live? (883)

The next step is to come up with a list of your dreams, goals, and aspirations. This is the second piece of the “100/40 Strategy”—the “40 List.” It’s the “What you want to do and accomplish in life list.” (948)

But I’ve often heard people say, “I’m not sure I know forty possibilities.” Sure you do. Let me show you one example. Let’s say you wanted to tie your two loves together—public relations and sports. Well, your “40 List” list could include teams, league opportunities, universities, sporting goods manufacturers, Olympic bodies, major PR agencies, stadiums/arenas, etc. (973)

That’s why they have playbooks and put all the possible plays on the quarterback’s forearm so he won’t forget. Basketball coaches do the same. They have a small chalkboard courtside that they use at time outs to diagram exactly the play they want to run. This allows each player to see exactly what they are to do. It’s a visual thing. The same is needed for dreams and goals, and that’s why you need a “List” you can see. (979)

It’s so much easier for your “Who” World to assist you if you’ve done some research and can review even a few specific names (1–40) of organizations and people you want to know. The good news is that I’m not asking you to make cold calls; I’m just asking you to call your friends, so relax. (984)

You may be asking, “But what if I don’t get a name from each person on my (1–100) list?” Well, the odds are in your favor: 100 friends x 40 opportunities = 4,000 potential hits . . . you only need 1! (992)

Bob, if you want to have something that you’ve never had before, you’ve got to be willing to do something that you’ve never done before!” (1033)

The great thing about a list is that it really helps you clarify your priorities, your values, and your personal preferences. In short, making a list helps you dream. Dreaming out loud is what lists are all about. You think about it, you begin to speak about it, and you write it down. (1077)

One of the key components of dreaming is the ability to allow yourself to drift a little, kind of like sailing. (1085)

I cannot impress upon you strongly enough the vital importance of keeping a journal of the pursuit of your dreams and goals. Even if you make an entry only once every few days, a journal will be your most valuable ally in recognizing the patterns of your life. Patterns reveal destiny. (1098)

Follow your dream. Act on it in faith! You must believe! (1130)

Being prepared and confident causes others to feel comfortable with your leadership. Being resolute and courageous in the execution of your list is crucial for success. The choice of what will happen to you is the result of all the little decisions you make every day. (1148)

Without action, all great ideas are useless. There is no shortage of great ideas. The key that turns dreams into reality is a good plan of action. The people who act on their ideas are in the minority. Successful people share five simple but important traits that all dream seekers can use. (1160)

Just begin. If you have a dream, it’s going to take some creative thinking, strategizing, and good, old-fashioned hard work to bring it into reality. (1167)

Obstacles should be viewed as springboards to bigger and better opportunities. (1178)

What I’ve discovered in the executive search business is that failure is overrated. If viewed correctly, it just provides real-life instruction/training and another chance to experience success. You can strike out over and over, each time slightly changing your strategy, when all of a sudden, you find that “sweet spot.” (1188)

The person who writes a book understands that you don’t quit your job, take six months out of your life, and go to a secluded island somewhere to do it. (1208)

It’s an all too common fact that most people just give up too soon. (1216)

Since your dream is basically a complete unknown, the almost universal knee-jerk reaction is going to be negative from most people. Sociologists refer to this as the “herd instinct.” It’s simply a strong desire to keep things as they are and not upset the status quo. (1302)

Talk to your “Who.” They may have a perspective of your gifts and talents that you’re unable to see. What you’re good at and what you enjoy are major clues to connecting with your destiny. Don’t minimize their importance. (1320)

You have friends and friends of friends who will help you simply because they feel you’re part of them, they are part of you, and you like each other. There exists a natural preference. Pay attention. Stay alert. If you have found your “stream,” if you have been accepted by a “tribe”—don’t take this for granted. It’s another important clue. (1334)

Watch out for the “hog callers.” You’ve probably had a similar experience at some point in your life. You were doing something great, making a real contribution and feeling pretty good about it when, all of a sudden, you got “called down.” Not only were you not appreciated, you were reprimanded and even punished for performing well. (1366)

Whenever you allow someone else to design your life for you, they’ll always design it way too small. If your boss, coach, teacher, regional vice president, whatever is a “hog caller,” you need to recognize what’s going on. My dad called this “getting a clue.” A clue is a hint that maybe you’re on the wrong team, you’re hanging with the wrong crowd, or you’re working for the wrong company. (1379)

Doing what you “love” is one of the most essential components of finding your dream. One of the great disconnects of life, a truly monumental error that people commonly make, is not allowing love to direct their course. (1396)

Everything you need for your better future and success has already been written. And guess what? It’s all available. All you have to do is go to the library. But would you believe that only three percent of the people in America have a library card? Wow, they must be expensive! No, they’re free. And there’s probably a library in every neighborhood.” (1546)

But, according to author Bill Hybels, there are three general categories that offer a good starting place to evaluate the residual effect that each relational encounter has on you. They are draining, neutral, and replenishing. (1582)

“Who” always comes before “What.” Both are essential, but the choice of where to start is of paramount importance. Starting with “Who” rather than “What” will send you in the right direction and, more importantly, will keep you focused on what’s truly essential. (1769)

It wasn’t my pitch, my product, or even my company that landed my first big sale. It was my willingness to listen. (1785)

The smart people know that the best products aren’t sold; they are bought. (1816)

needs. People who make the mistake of giving “too much information” need to realize they got the interview in the first place because someone liked them and was already convinced about their qualifications. At this stage, the interview is really about meeting you and getting to know you on a personal level. (1847)

Employers look for personal qualities that transcend technical expertise. They’re more impressed with you when you can tell your story in a relaxed, confident, and visionary style. Displaying a good sense of humor also helps. When an interviewer asks a question, give a succinct answer. If you hold the conversation for too long—you lose. Don’t overcommunicate with “too much information.” (1852)

The next common error a candidate makes is to believe that bombarding people with endorsements will get them their Dream Job. They’ll have a bunch of acquaintances make a lot of phone calls on their behalf to the person doing the hiring. I call this launching a “mortar attack” on the client. (1856)

Find out who will be in the room doing the interview. Knowing something about them personally and then strategically mentioning it during the interview is always impressive. Having knowledge of their accomplishments or what they wrote about in previous articles or said in interviews shows you’ve done your homework and that you care. (1874)

It’s what I call the “I like you” factor. Simply put, this principle states that when a person likes you, they’ll want to help you succeed. Behind the scenes, they will tell others they like you. I see it all the time. If the client likes you in the interview, they’ll be less concerned about your weaknesses and let you off the hook by not asking tough follow-up questions. (1882)

Smile a Little Smile for Me The choice to smile is really a breakthrough technique, because it automatically distinguishes you from most everybody else. I can tell you firsthand that many people lose job opportunities simply because they didn’t bring a smile to the interview. (1892)

• You must come prepared. Author and renowned motivational speaker Jeffrey Gitomer nails it when he says, “Prepare to win, or lose to someone who is!” • Having great references, endorsements, and testimonials are your most powerful allies. When someone else says you’re great, you are! So choose your references carefully and you won’t have to toot your own horn. • The interview is usually won or lost in the first five minutes. Here is a great secret: every person carries their own, unique personal environment that is invisibly transmitted to everyone in the room. So, when you walk in, bring your very best, positively charged attitude. (1919)

• There are four things a potential employer or prospective client thinks about when they first meet you. These are questions that go through their mind: (1) Do I know you? (2) Do I like you? (3) Do you understand my needs? and (4) Are you the best for me and my particular situation? (1930)

• Ninety-four percent of the time, a candidate wins the interview over others of equal or sometimes even better talent simply because the interviewer (committee) liked you. But if you’re trying too hard, you might make the mistake of interrupting someone who is already speaking. (1935)

• Be authentic. Anything less—you lose. (1943)

Mirroring is a very effective tool for aspiring dream seekers. It’s basically imitating, copying, or mimicking some-one who is already wildly successful at the same thing you aspire to. (1970)

Mentors make a difference. The people with whom you associate will, in large measure, determine the level of your success or failure in life. Remember, everyone is an influencer. So, whom should I pick as a mentor? Well, look around you. Who would you say that you admire and respect? Who has always impressed you with their creativity and insightfulness? (2000)

Detours take you off the main road into unfamiliar territory. Unexpected turns can disorient you unless you have the rare ability to stay alert and immediately acclimate to your new circumstances. (2093)

Remember, a detour is not permanent. It’s not the road to your destiny. It’s a necessary but temporary side route. (2101)

I had developed a bad habit of living either in the future, worrying about circumstances looming ahead, or living in the past, tormenting myself over things I saw in the rearview mirror of my life. Even now, I can clearly hear him saying, “It’s not true.” But then Dad asked me an even tougher question. “Bob, do you know what is true?” (2145)

Negative “self-talk” is an assault on your dreams. Don’t put up with it! Most people are so accustomed to it they don’t even notice its intrusion. They let it sneak in and ruin their potential for success by causing them to quit too soon. Self-discipline and self-control begin with controlling your own negative self-talk. (2159)

A candidate who thought the job already was won is caught totally off guard when it goes to someone else. “What happened?” is also something you hear a lot from people in their latter years when they talk about that dream that somehow slipped away. Both types started off well, but life throws them for a loss when they encounter the second of my four major “dream killers”—“double-mindedness.” dou·ble-mind·ed—adjective wavering or undecided in mind. (2167)

The mistake most people make is thinking you elevate yourself. But that’s not how it works. You’re elevated by others who believe in you. They recognize your gifting, talent, and competency. They also see in you some personal qualities they like and trust you will be successful. Of course, it’s usually helpful to already be working in the field where you would like to succeed. There are exceptions to every rule, but your odds of being the exception are astronomical. Resolve today not to let competency be a hindrance. Start working on your gifts and talents now. Enjoy each step in the learning and growing process and be willing to pay the price. (2269)

What’s that “one thing” where your unique talent, gifting, and competency are maximized and showcased? Well, let it shine! Bring it to the interview, because you won’t succeed if you’re not authentic. (2295)

When you make the extra effort to celebrate, encourage, and help others, it establishes stronger bonds of friendship. Each time you do it, it’s an investment that is never wasted. There’s a law that governs this principle of encouraging and giving. It’s called the “law of reciprocity.” Simply put, this law states that when you do something good for another person, it actually creates a desire in them to reciprocate. (2385)

Dr. Dan Baker, author of the runaway best seller What Happy People Know, conducted an exhaustive twenty-five-year study of what actually makes people happy. Surprisingly, it wasn’t money, position, fame, or sex. The top two reasons for enduring happiness, it turns out, are “Gratitude and Giving. ” Dr. Baker’s study revealed that when people are truly grateful for what they have or when they deliberately choose to be givers, there is a chemical that gets released in the brain that creates a sense of euphoria, an inner peace, and a feeling of personal significance. (2469)